ultra laser

things that are infuriating 2

ubisoft: so you're (re)playing sands of time, yeah?
seandehey: oh yeah. it's pretty great. the parkour moves are slick. i want an open world version of this game, all ssx where i can start anywhere in the palace and just create routes to the far ends.
ubisoft: maybe pick up assassins creed but anyways. so you like the multi-enemy combat?
seandehey: it's slick. i like the thing where i vault over a guy and slash up his back, while avoiding the second dude sneaking up behind me.
ubisoft: fantastic! okay, how about these blue fuckers you can't vault over?
seandehey: wait, what? okay, hang on, i can freeze them with the dagger, smash them up, and take on the little guys.
ubisoft: so now the blue fuckers are going to come at you in threes, with two of the red chumps filling in the gaps.
seandehey: but i'm almost out of sand, i can't freeze all of them. okay, i guess i can do this. i can rewind if i get dead and jump around a lot. kind of bullshit, though.
ubisoft: we're just warming up for the blue sword jocks.
seandehey: where the hell do they find scimitars the size of farah? OH GOD where'd all my health go he only hit me once?!
ubisoft: and you can't vault them either!
seandehey: FUCK YOU. okay, i can dual them, like in mechner's version, just be patient.
ubisoft: totally.
seandehey: the other nine guys you just threw at me aren't helping. if the blue fuckers can deflect my blows and i can't vault them, and i'm out of sand, i can't fight more than one at a time and survive for very long.
ubisoft: isn't it great?
seandehey: not really, no. i'm starting to remember why i never bought the sequel. didn't you fuck up the balance even worse to focus on the bullshit combat?
ubisoft: we're not sure what you mean.
seandehey: seriously, it's like you had two different games and mashed them up. in one game, you're an unstoppable warrior and fighting armies of drone enemies, who regenerate but can't withstand your attacks. it's dynasty warriors persia and it's grind-tastic but since you have to do a finishing move on each enemy, that they're nearly defenseless but immortal is actually fair.
ubisoft: right, right.
seandehey: and in the other, better game, you're a parkour master, traipsing about, solving puzzles and exploring a trap-filled palace. you fight enemies, but while you're no slouch you're also weak and can only take a few hits, so you turn each solo combat into another battle of wits and patience.
ubisoft: sure, of course.
seandehey: so what actually happens while playing this game is that you can't sustain any kind of flow. the annoying and unfair combat models overlap making every battle a lot of jumping around and rewinding to save the one scrap of health you have left, while every time you get into a groove of solving puzzles and navigating corridors, you have to get into a melee brawl with like ninety monsters.
ubisoft: right.
seandehey: and farah is worthless in battle. you know, mechner was harsh, but he was fair. you guys are just sloppy.

Oct 2nd

things that are infuriating

hey windows 7, do you allow users to save custom color schemes?  because that was a windows feature...

Oct 2nd

I’m not flying in that! I want my giggle back.

Oct 1st

Apparently even awesome new shows can’t compete with thumb wars. I hate commercial breaks....

Oct 1st

So glee is ridiculous/ly good. Trauma I might keep watching like a train wreck, but glee is as...

Oct 1st

Where the wild things are opens october 17. Venture brothers season 4.1 premieres on october 18....

Sep 28th

“The veteran actor does have one special request for General...”
— dennis quaid knows what the...

Sep 28th

AGREED.

Sep 28th

carl sagan - a glorious dawn feat. stephen...

Sep 28th

Watching independence day. Mary mcdonnell has managed to reverse-typecast herself - every role she...

Sep 28th

Replaying sands of time, SO GOOD.

Sep 28th

Why doesn’t rockstar make an a-team game? All open-world l.a., taking missions & fighting...

Sep 27th

that's not part of it but it's very...

sean: okay, so something about a mix tape?
ryan: bring me dishes and then i'll talk.

Sep 26th

excellent and fun times

sean: consider that tumbld.
ryan: excellent.
sean: also i made fun of you.
ryan: that's fine, because i was looking the other night at the mix cd from 2005 i... ah... are you live-tumbling this?
sean: ...yes?

Sep 26th

'the reeling' by passion pit (because ryan...

Sep 26th

Also I love that I can enter the lloyd center underground at street level by the dollar tree and...

Sep 25th

So the welders in the sublevel below the dollar tree are working on the la fitness underground...

Sep 25th

twenty years ago this was a portable computer

Sep 23rd

i do this constantly

ropeyhodges: Have you read The Magic Christian? I think, considering your current financial situation, you may get a small kick out of it. It's about a billionaire who goes around the world playing practical jokes on people to prove that everyone has a price. Not maliciously, mind you, but to expose how silly the notion of money really is.
lotterychangedmylife: I added it to my to buy list, thanks.
WallPhone: You have a buy list? The purpose of mine seems to be a reminder of the stuff I can't get. What purpose does yours have?
lotterychangedmylife: A buy list is a great way to keep yourself from buying things you don't need. Make a list, work your way down from the top. Ask yourself if you really need that item when you reach it on the list. If not, then cross it off.
must_love_dorks: I just got purchasing advice from a berjillionaire. I make less than 20k (student) and find this to be the best thing on the entire thread. Win!

Sep 22nd

guy who won a $30 million jackpot answers...

Sep 22nd

new money rundown

ppinard: How much did you actually get?
lotterychangedmylife: A little under 20 million.
ppinard: What did you do when you found out you won?
lotterychangedmylife: Made photocopies of the ticket and contacted a lawyer.
ppinard: what was the first thing you bought?
lotterychangedmylife: My first “lottery” purchase was a safe.
ppinard: what was the most ridiculous thing you bought?
lotterychangedmylife: T-rex animatronic head used in Jurassic Park. It cost me $90K and sits right behind my sofa.
ppinard: How much did you give to others (charity, family etc)?
lotterychangedmylife: I gave my parents and sister $1M each, donated another million to a scholarship fund. Paid off the debt of lifelong friends (total cost was about $200K).
ppinard: How badly do people pester you for handouts (for business, charity etc)?
lotterychangedmylife: When it first happened I was deluged by people I hadn’t seen in years asking me for help, telling me their SOB stories, and wanting to start a business. I bought into a lot of it at first but you quickly become hardened and learn to say no. I haven’t been asked for money in a few years now, largely because I’ve been traveling.
ppinard: How do you plan on living the rest of your life?
lotterychangedmylife: My first decision was to do nothing. But nothing gets boring fast
ppinard: How did you invest it?
lotterychangedmylife: Various mutual funds and a full time financial advisor who is in turn monitored by a full time accountant… who is then audited in secret by a team of auditors

Sep 22nd

you basically can’t get a picture of zoe holding still...

Sep 22nd

i’ll only smile if you show me that picture!

Sep 22nd

there’s a smile.

Sep 22nd

that’s more like it.

Sep 22nd

zoe?  not coming out?

Sep 22nd

claire?  not looking at anyone?

Sep 22nd

ellie?  no smiles?

Sep 22nd

[i was expecting three pictures in a row, this gallery...

Sep 22nd

i swear, everyone was having a wonderful time the entire...

Sep 22nd

Watch

halo 3; odst ‘desperate measures’ vidoc.  let’s just call this the malcolm...

Sep 22nd

Watch

preview of ‘the babysitter’, one of the anime shorts from the upcoming ‘halo:...

Sep 22nd

Watch

i like the guild, i get most of the mmo jokes, it’s good stuff.  but this is transcendently...

Sep 22nd

are you are?

Sep 22nd

“He hasn’t been banned. Jedis are very welcome to shop...”
— a tesco spokesperson...

Sep 21st

but ppls need to stop calling it a tommy...

Sep 19th

confirmed - the raider cs-35 ammo drum is...

Sep 19th

new from nerf, the n-strike raider cs-35 - a pump-action...

Sep 19th

Want plz - windbreaker with ‘jedi’ in big white letters on the back + lightsaber loop

Sep 19th

srsly

zoe: i want to read LADY book.
sean: i don't... annie? she's asking for a lady book?
annie: zoe, do you mean the book we saw at the library today?
zoe: yeah! ...go get it.

Sep 19th

i spotted this at ross yesterday and had the worst / best...

Sep 19th

clear yellow soles ftw

Sep 18th

for proof of the death of what we have come to think of a the conservative movement, one needs look...

Sep 16th

now /all/ noodles are cup of noodles.

Sep 16th

My computer-phobic supervisor just got a nigerian money scam email at his work address.

Sep 15th

because seriously, fuck them

the idea that in twenty years most of the crazy old men on The Right will be dead or senile is...

Sep 15th

“In many ways, this makes [Glenn] Beck the ideal standard...”
— a moister, flakier leader for...

Sep 15th

harlan ellison will not read your fucking...

Sep 15th

paraphrasing off the deep end

sean: so, carcassonne or carcassoffe?
ryan: i don't know yet.
sean: well, i'm coming by later anyways, we'll see. how's misty?
ryan: quiet, thank god. i think she finally figured out that she was texting the wrong number.

Sep 15th

This show is /filthy/ as far as certain words that never get said on television.

Sep 13th

Oh god, oxygen has an adult home shopping show… ‘yes, with the lights, what a fun...

Sep 13th

Leilani just pointed out that for about nineteen minutes on may 2nd 2011, ryan will be thirty while...

Sep 13th

oh yeah!

Sep 13th

ICE GUN! The ice was strong ice and it broke the wall in half! Let’s go ride pegasus away!...

Sep 13th

Two kids at the park are playing kotor. I would have expected clone wars.

Sep 13th

'magnificent' by u2, which has been running...

Sep 12th

“But hell, this was a two page synopsis, and there was no...”
— i will not read your fucking...

Sep 12th

kate winslet made me do it

i just accidentally unexpectedly watched the better part of the holiday on i think tbs and it was...

Sep 12th

(via loveyourchaos)

Sep 11th

that and tycho's bit monday about his new...

Sep 10th

scary go round ends tomorrow, which is kind...

Sep 10th

“I see reform where we bring stability and security to folks...”
— that one on labor day,...

Sep 10th

“As the universe comes to an end in a solitary singularity...”
— wiki / wiki / simulated...

Sep 10th

“The term matrioshka brain was invented by Robert Bradbury as...”
— wiki / wiki / matrioshka brain

Sep 10th

walmart is using the recession to knock over...

Sep 10th

mice levitated in the lab

Sep 10th

“On health care, Reagan’s party has now been reduced to...”
— kennedy care by nicholas...

Sep 10th

Freddies has christmas lights but no halloween stuff yet. I think that beats last year. By 2020...

Sep 9th

“People need homes, cars, food, health care, love and a lot...”
— ‘troy’...

Sep 9th

Channel flipping between anthony bourdain and alton brown is the best unless you’re hungry

Sep 8th

SPACE KITTEH! by zach and miles, i had...

Sep 7th

“So it takes about 25 kilobits — 3.2 kbytes — of data to code...”
— on influenza a (h1n1) by...

Sep 7th

zombie j'onn j'onzz

i’m getting caught up on everything in the world because my head has been spinning in circles...

Sep 7th

okay, from the top...

random bits of debris leatherman squirt p4 - red anodized aluminum grips, absolutely pocket sized....

Sep 7th

a few bits on my desk right now

Sep 7th

“But when people ask her why Beaton likes history, she finds...”
— vincenzo ravina + kate beaton

Sep 7th

oh god DAMN it, kate beaton.  smart, clever, funny, well...

Sep 7th

“In terms of essential services, how is a hospital any...”
— bougieman (nsfw)

Sep 7th

whatever, then. i suppose i'll just go...

Sep 7th

boss just called to make sure i knew we...

Sep 7th

“I think it is now overwhelmingly evident, if you’re...”
— bob costas, june 2007, via...

Sep 6th

it's shampoo for your brain!

space ghost: now bob, i have one more final question for you. do you have the freedom to wear comfortable, open toed shoes?
bob costas: i could, yes.
space ghost: okay.
bob costas: yeah, i'd, actually though, it's not advisable when doing a football game in green bay in december, to wear sandals.
space ghost: bob, everyone knows green bay is not in december. you obviously don't shampoo. here's is my final question, bob.
bob costas: oh, you haven't, i thought that was your last question.
space ghost: who told you that?
bob costas: alright, what is it?
space ghost: that was it.
bob costas: ...

Sep 6th

seeing bob costas going along merrily with fallon’s...

Sep 6th

stainless steel sharpie.  i just got one of these....

Sep 6th

“This will only be of interest to British readers, and then...”
— g2 bad by marbury

Sep 5th

also, this happened.  two days ago it was a couple of likes...

Sep 5th

surprise day off

at least it was a friday this time?  kind of annoying though.  being back in my parents house means...

Sep 5th

Watch

feeling great is overdrift awesome

Sep 3rd

meaghano also tumbled this completely rad...

Sep 3rd

Watch

cover by trueapothecary of wagon wheel by old crow medicine show

Sep 3rd

tumblweeds

this is what the internet is about. someone i’ve never met links to a song i’ve never...

Sep 3rd

OH THANK GOD it's only 40 figures in three...

Sep 3rd

oh thanks, hasbro. thanks a lot. because that’s just...

Sep 3rd

I think i’m just going to grab a gatorade @ freddies and night bike my way through...

Sep 3rd

‘due to signal problems in the rose quarter, the trains will be waiting at each platform. No...

Sep 3rd

“But you don’t have to be as stupid as [Glenn] Beck to...”
— more lessons from the henry...

Sep 2nd

“Yet it wasn’t who Gates is, but what he is that added...”
— lessons from the henry louis...

Sep 2nd

CANABALT

Sep 2nd

it's curious that the tumblr facebook...

Sep 1st

regarding disney buying marvel

don’t worry about it. a - it’s the same as wb buying dc, and nobody at wb cares as...

Sep 1st

norrin radd

sean: and where's the damn silver surfer show?
ryan: totally.
sean: you have the devil character showing up every few episodes to cause trouble, but it's galactus. who would play galactus? i always want to say willem dafoe because the ml baf galactus looked like him.
ryan: he could pull it off. lots of actors would make a good galactus. terence stamp, for example.
sean: ron perlman. no! clancy brown.
ryan: i would like to see clancy brown's galactus.
sean: hugo weaving.
ryan: that would almost be too much.
sean: the surfer would be tougher, almost.
ryan: i could see a ryan reynolds surfer.
sean: no. too jovial. he should play, i don't know, nova.
ryan: ryan reynolds should play longshot. no... fucking orlando bloom would be a perfect longshot. and liev schreiber should play the surfer.
sean: i was thinking joaquin pheonix. or billy crudup, but not beefcakey.
ryan: that would work.
sean: willem dafoe should play uatu.
ryan: he likes to watch.
sean: no. although that should be the tagline for his movie.

Sep 1st